Monday, September 17, 2018

Pomeranian Grieving Loss of Owner

Do dogs grieve? It has been a while since a new post has been added to this blog. In that time my dear husband passed away, making the simplest of things hard to do. So this blog and other things have been neglected, it is taking time to heal.

But the loss has not just affected me, from the pictures that I share, you will see that Happy, our/my Pomeranian, has also felt the loss of Paul. We were a "pack" of 3, and now it is just Happy and I. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have her during this difficult time, she is a great companion, but she has had to work through things in her own way, the way a dog does. 

I can't get into her mind, but I can observe her body language.

Look at the following picture, this was taken on a quiet day after all the busyness that follows losing a family member had settled.  One of those long alone days that are filled with longing as we learn to adjust.

Each and every day when it was time for Paul to come home from work, Happy would be waiting for close to an hour for his arrival on the back of his favorite chair. This day, within a week of his passing, and in the days that followed, I had to tell her "No, Happy, no more Daddy". Then I would call her over and hold her for a while. It took weeks for her to stop waiting, but she still sleeps close to the door. I don't know whether that is a new habit, or whether she is still hopeful.


Facial expressions like the ones that you see in the other two pictures, were never seen on Happy before Paul died. We were generally a happy and complete family, there was a rhythm to our days. Happy entertained us each evening after dinner with her antics. Now everything was different. I cried frequently, she would come comfort me. I am sure that not only was she missing Paul herself, but she was feeling my pain, as dogs are very sensitive to our moods and emotions. 


But these pictures were both taken some time after Paul died, while she was waiting on the back of the chair for him to come home. Seeing this was so painful for me, adding to my grief. But we both had to work through this and come out on the other side. Taking her for walks, distracting her with things she liked, all helped in time, and probably helped me in the process. 

It is over a year now since Paul died, it feels fresh in many ways, there are still tears, but we are doing okay. Happy doesn't sit waiting for Paul anymore, but does get excited when other family members come to visit. She enjoys the company, and I know she feels my happier mood when there is company as well.

So do dogs grieve? Yes, in their own way, I am sure they do. Plus they are very in touch with what we are feeling, so sometimes, it is hard to know whether the grieving is their own feeling of loss or whether they are sensing the feelings we are projecting. I think it is a bit of both. What do you think?

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