I can tell you that the first couple weeks were the most difficult, I would think I heard her, or saw her when something was laying on the floor in the spot she used to lay on the floor, and would expect her to greet me at the door.
Anyone who has had a Yorkie knows that the Yorkie greeting when you come home is so enthusiastic and unforgettable. Of course during her last year she was not as active as she used to be, but she always managed to muster up the energy for a happy greeting when we came home.
The grief process for a beloved pet, one that was loved as much as Aspen was, is similar to grieving anyone that we love. It may not be quite the same as losing a child, husband or wife, but the feelings and grief process are very much the same.
After the first few weeks, there were less tears, but then Aspen started to be part of some of my early morning dreams just before waking, the only ones I remember. Once we were playing a game that she loved to play, a chasing game. In another she was in bed next to me, she often slept in the bed between my husband and I until the past year when it was bad for her legs to jump up and down. In that dream I was petting her and could even "feel" her hair then awoke to the reality that it was just a dream. These moments bring tears and I quickly rise to get on with the day.
This week I did have a dream about her, but in it, I was convincing someone else that she was now gone, so I guess my sub-conscience is coming to terms with reality too.
It is getting a bit easier, grief can stop life, and life must go on, so I'm thankful that it is a process that doesn't control every moment...but when the grief thoughts come, I engage them for a while, and am not afraid to shed tears, as all of this is part of the healing process after losing a pet that I loved as much as Aspen. The blog will go on, though, Aspen would want it that way.
Image taken by me.
